Speeding Cars

I plan to finish all my things to do list in 24hours straight. It's actually quite impossible but I'll make use of all the time I have. It's been really hard for me to prioritize my duties and responsibilities as a student. It's even harder now because every step I take will not only affect me but everyone else in the group. It has been extremely exhausting the past few days and I know that the next few weeks (or months?) will be tougher. Ill drink more coffee than usual, eat more or eat nothing at all, sleep in class, not be able to study for quizzes, sacrifice movie dates for communication letters etc. For some, they say that I'm stupid for taking on big responsibilities when I can just sulk and be a bum. It is true. I, myself, find "me" crazy... but working for others or for a bigger purpose is something that makes me happy. I am truly blessed to be able to see how the very small things in life can be important parts of the bigger picture. I know that everything I am doing now contributes to the making of my vision  and accomplishment of my missions and goals (haha, parang student handbook lang ba?).

It's always heart fulfilling to know that I'm working for a purpose and not merely doing things because im required to. There's no guarantee that things will be easier or fun but the process will surely make me a better person and that, for me, is important. 


I'd really love to tell more about the first week of senior life but there's still way too much unfinished papers to work on.

A father's day Tribute.

There is a man - strong, faithful and valiant - who would courageously cross the vast oceans carrying with him his lonely and home sicked heart warmed and consoled only by the array of constellations in the black sky. The ever so present sound of the ship engine makes him remember that he is a man, a father, a husband and a son who needs to sacrifice his petty happiness to earn a living for his family. The gentle waves ease the solitary passer-by in the middle of Pacific who wishes nothing but to go home. Every 6 months, he would leave in the busy city of Manila his loving wife and 3 children. His journey across the seas made him regret a lot of things.  

His profession denied him of seeing his children at graduation day, being at their birthday parties and spending special holidays with the whole family. This man never witnessed how his children grow or how his wife was being the best at her profession. He is only able to see his children through their voices over the phone from the other side of the world. Hearing his wife’s not-so-gentle but loving voice gives him the strength and energy to continue. This man misses the feeling of being hugged, being taken care of and being in good company. He rarely gets the chance to make a phone call. He gets worried every minute thinking if everyone back home is ok. It saddens him even more when his loved ones get sick and he can’t be there physically but only financially. Amidst the unforgiving workplace, he continued to sail because there are people who need him. This man works as a seafarer. This man is my dad.

Technically, I have spent half of my life without my father at my side. Having no dad for 5-6 months a year is terribly despairing. However, as I was growing, I realized that it was even more painful for him. My dad who appears to be so manly happens to cry at the airport every time he leaves for work. Sometimes, he would just wish to stay but that would mean sending me and my siblings to public schools, living in a small house, giving a lot of burden to my mom, no medications for my grandparents, etc. We need money. So, reality says he has no choice.

My dad has sacrificed a lot of things in life (His dreams, his own happiness) like the other hundreds of seafarers in the world. The mental strength needed at the sea is far greater than anything you can imagine. Some of you would probably get dizzy in just a few hours stay on the ship and some would go crazy with boredom. What more for days? Weeks? Months? What more during the freezing breeze of winter, the intolerable heat of summer and the wrath of typhoons? My dad was able to survive all that. My dad crosses the waters and he never let it break him or push him down.  He works hard not for his own good but for me, for my siblings, for my mom, for our relatives.

Even though my dad was not physically present all the time, he made sure that family time is very well spent when he’s home.  He makes potato salad, French toasts, buys milk and makes sure that we all go to church every Sunday. Sometimes, my dad makes a good housewife than my mom. I’m guessing it’s like that with all seafarers. My dad’s brothers are all seafarers as well and I think it’s a common trait that they can be the sweetest thing on Earth – my dad being the sweetestest.

This coming seafarers’ day, I would like to give a salute to all the seafarers around the globe. Your job is no way easy. Your dedication is boundless. Your perseverance is immeasurable. You sacrifices are unfathomable. Your strength is massive. Your faithfulness is beyond what mine can comprehend. Your bravery in facing the danger of each day is astounding. Your love is unconditional. All of these are written in the sea foams of the shore, echoed by the chirps of the birds flying in the docks, lighted by the North star and told countless of times by the thousands of waves you have met throughout your journey. May the world be inspired by your stories!

I love you.

Blog Challenge!

1. Write some basic things about yourself
2. your day, in great detail
3. Five places you want to visit
4. Do you read? What are your favourite books?
5. Three things you want to say to different people
6. If you could only live off of one food and one beverage for the rest of your days, what would they be?
7. If the world were to end tomorrow, what would you do with your remaining time on earth?
8. What do you want to be when you get older?
9. A letter to someone. Anyone
10. Seven things that cross your mind a lot
11. What are some little things that make you feel warm and fuzzy
12. Something you’re currently worrying about
13. A quote you try to live by
14. Five weird things that you like
15. Your current relationship status,  if single discuss how single life is.
16. 5 things you want to change
17. Something you're not proud of
18. The last argument you had
19. In the past month, what have you learned?
20. Something you can never be tired of doing
21. A photograph of yourself and list three good things that have happened today
22. What kind of person attracts you
23. Your best friends
24. Your diet
25. Thoughts about school
26. Your fears
27. What you wear
28. Your parents
29. Something that makes your cry
30. Your favourite memory

What's your Status?

We went to John's house last April because he said his family had a box of magnum and Kaycee and I didnt even think of saying "no" so we took the cab (or did we ride the jeep? I can't remember) and hurried to his house. It was a usual bonding day with College friends and nothing can ever be as ordinary as watching a horror movie, planning out of town trips for summer and filling our empty stomachs with junk foods and ice cream. They were all watching Orphan but I've seen the movie countless of times so I just sat on the floor and read through my twitter feed. School tweets, stress tweets, MMDA tweets, News tweets, fashion tweets, football tweets...Okay, what's new? Well, Tina Herrera RT-ed Dan Buenaventura (Account Manager of Status Magazine) and they were looking for a foreign looking, tall and lean guy who can model for their editorial page. 

LIGHT BULB!

HELLO, John Martin Locsin Cailles!

I showed the tweet to John and everyone in the room but they were just not interested at all. It was like "Hello, we're watching can you like...shut up?!" haha! Joking! But I was getting hyped up because John was really the guy they're looking for. So, I asked John if I could send them his photos and he was even hesitating so I told him it's not a scam! You're not gonna get hurt! Hello, Tina Herrera (The executive producer of PFW TV and Runway TV Asia) wouldn't tweet something that is fraud. He just said okay. 

I sent sir Dan his photos from our first year College photoshoot and he liked them so he asked for John's contact details and email address.

The next thing I know, John got the deal. 

He was even panicking because no one was available to accompany him for the shoot at Enderun until Bai agreed to go with him. We had to wait for a month and a half for the issue to be released and we were just all excited - yes, John was, too. He said he enjoyed the shoot and told me that he might just consider modeling as a career. Hihi. Hello, uhh that's what everyone's been telling you!!! Well, you see, John isn't easy to read. There's more to his gwapo face (John, if you're reading this...can i make a list? haha). He has the looks but he isn't the typical guy who would brag about it. First impressions of him are usually shy, cautious, apprehensive and, sometimes, reluctant and unwilling but if you would just get the chance to know him more...you'll be amazed not just at his corny jokes and the funny faces he makes but at how wonderful his heart is (yuck! i'm getting cheesy). I'm honestly serious, though :) He's not one who would say yes immediately without over thinking things (he might not agree but that's how I see it) so it astounded us all when we found out he agreed to model. Everyone in our barkada was just deeply and genuinely happy and proud of him!

So here are the pictures from Status: The Green Issue (Miranda Kerr's on the coverrrr btw! :D)

It might not be much for someone who does modeling on a regular basis but to appear on four pages of a well-known youth culture magazine... it's something :D

GRAB YOUR JUNE ISSUE OF STATUS MAG NOW! :D

12am Thoughts

Lately, I have been reading blogs written by different people and listening to their stories have made me question a lot of things about myself. I started to become confused of the path I am currently taking and I have been constantly asking if I'm taking the right road. Frankly speaking, reading people's adventures have made me envious of their lives. I think it's normal to be jealous. I think ... we all go through that at one point in life. In comparison to others, my life seems nothing. My life is infinitesimal in relation to them. I'm not sure if it's because i'm just 19 and my everyday life has been a routine because of school. I have a schedule to follow, rules to stick by, books to read, cases to write and responsibilities I must accomplish. But then again, I chose this. What is the point of being jealous? What is the point of wasting time thinking if you were a different person or thinking if you were living his/her life?

On a personal experience,  being envious of people's lives made me realize my own faults as a person and has made me aware of the things I should focus on. More than that, envy opened my eyes to the beautiful life I currently have but I, unfortunately, have never known until now. There were three significant experiences I have gone through when I was at the top-end of being envious. (1) Through the constant struggle to be above anyone else, I reached my own downfall. (2) Through the never ending dreams of being great, I've seen myself self destruct. (3) Through the triumphs made by wrongful acts and triggered by atrocious and rotten motivations, I felt disgrace. Envy is not a win-win situation. When you become greater than everyone else, it just simply fills up a void in the internal self temporarily. The feeling of greatness subsides faster than you achieved it. When time passes by, the void needs to be filled up again and you'll need another ground where you can feed your ego. More than losing, I think it's a sad cycle to be sucked in - been there, done that. In every phase of life wherein I felt that envy was consuming me, there was one thing that helped me resurface: Gratitude. It's always about being happy and contented with the things you have. When you become thankful of the things life throws at you or when you become more resourceful and appreciative of the most important things you have in life, envy starts to become a dim light on the road while real life happiness illuminates. With that, you see the beauty of your life and equally important is the fact that you are so blessed than you could have ever imagined.

Many of us are way too focused on seeing other people's success that we forget our own progress. It's always good to pause, reminisce, reflect and keep a tracking record because it helps you remember that you are making a star out of your own, it may not yet be as bright as the way other stars twinkle, but the important part is that you're giving out your own light that makes up a bigger and beautiful picture. It's not really about how big or small you'll become...all that matters is your relevance. So move forward, look straight, focus on your goals and never be blinded or be envious by the the light of others because you have your own light that is perpetual, unyielding and significant,

Right now, I am more than inspired to be at my best all the time.

“Envy consists in seeing things never in themselves, but only in their relations. If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon, but Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I daresay, envied Hercules, who never existed.”
Bertrand Russell

I was, before, held by the chain of rusting sins. When I saw the Light, I was set free. 


(Again, here's another random thought in the middle of the night. I'm not sure if it'll make sense.)

Les Miserables The movie

One Day More: 25th Anniversary of Les Miserables with Nick Jonas as Marius :D 

Les Miserables was the only book I've read that changed my life and now that it's going to the big screen with a whole new cast from the first movie, I can't stop myself from feeling the excitement! I have been watching different Les Mis concerts since I saw the trailer a couple of days ago. I have never read a book as great as this with all important themes and significant human experiences placed into one timeless classic. I must say that reading this book and understanding each compelling and powerful storylines under the most influential teachers I ever had was the most life changing part of highschool. 

This book will make you want to become a better person :)

"So long as there shall exist, by virtue of law and custom, decrees of damnation pronounced by society, artificially creating hells amid the civilization of earth, and adding the element of human fate to divine destiny; so long as the three great problems of the century – the degradation of man through pauperism, the corruption of woman through hunger, the crippling of children through lack of light – are unsolved; so long as social asphyxia is possible in any part of the world; – in other words, and with a still wider significance, so long as ignorance and poverty exist on earth, books of the nature of Les Misérables cannot fail to be of use"

(Thank you, literature class. Thank you, AC.)

Christmas, I hope you were a little bit nearer right now.