20. I keep on repeating that number in my head for three days now and it wont't sink in. I think a part of me will forever be stuck in that stage where things will always be okay. I'm honestly scared and I want to refuse the fact that from now on... I need to act more mature and be prepared for what's about to come. I hate to admit that I'm going to enter that part of my life where decisions and actions become EVEN MORE crucial. Everything will be different and I know that I feel like im talking way too serious here but I just feel that I have the need to. I feel like things have to be in order because responsibilities will weigh heavier and I might not be able to accomplish what I'm supposed to do. Maybe, it's because I have an absolute fear of the future, the unknown, or the ones I can never anticipate. But despite all the burden in life, I'm still hopeful that events will turn out the way they ought to be.
Anyway, so...yes I just turned 20. it's been 20 years and i think Im doing quite okay with life - okay, maybe I'm more than okay and Im proud to say that I'm one blessed kid. I can't think of any reason to hate life as a whole. I've told people many times that there's nothing else I need. I have all the Love from my friends and family. I am a witness to my own blessings and I know that my BLESSINGS are more than what I truly deserve (not that I'm complaining :P). So, what more do I have to ask for? Life has been extremely good to me and despite all the trials and hurricanes, God has made a way to make things okay again. BLESSED. That's just it. There's nothing more that can describe my life. I mean, Ive been living a routine so there's nothing gigantically or evidently great about me but I'd like to believe that no natter how infinitesimal my everyday happiness is - its still something worth telling and worth living for. :)
20 seems like a very big number right now. :P
I never celebrate my birthday in a grand way. The last time I treated people out was on my 17th birthday pa, haha! My friends must be complaining big time right now! Sorry, guys! My parents are both out of the country: My mom's in Australia with my brother because it was his graduation last September 24th and my dad's working overseas. It's just me and my sister who are here in the Philippines. My dad kept on saying "wala kami dyan sa birthday mo" and I think he's either sad or regretting that I have no parents physically present with me on my "special day". But I told him that it doesn't make him any less of a father...that I'm blessed to have him...that he doesn't have to feel like there are shortcomings on his part.
I was really sad though because this was the first time ever that my mom was not with me on the day of my birthday. Well, actually, I never felt that it was my birthday because of thesis. It wasn't until the the night of september 25th when John and Arcee spent dinner with me in PepperLunch that I felt the birthday vibe. John told me that it's just a matter of thinking and choice (there goes John's wisdom). It's always good to have friends like them and I'm ultimately thankful for the friendship over the years. I just absolutely love these two.
Oh! and Arcee treated me in Yakimix. Oh, the joy of unlimited sushi and tempura.
Birthday wish: TOP THE NURSING BOARD EXAM or at least pass it :D
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