Through the years, when everything went wrong, together we were strong.

Time comes during duty, most especially in the ward, when thoughts of regrets and "should'ves" pop out suddenly. Being a student nurse isn't a joke - the case studies, concept maps, nursing care plans combined with endless video presentations for minor subjects and draining lectures aren't what you can call 'sisiw' ( as what others call it). The things we do are not simple OJTs like stapling paper on desks, typing, filing papers, dissecting animals or answering phone calls. You think thats hard? why not try taking care of 4 critically ill patients? standing for 8 hours without going to the bathroom or having even a sip of water? try rendering bed bath on a patient with contraptions all over while being shouted at by relatives? With all these sometimes you'd just want to pause and say 'i give up' or 'i can never see myself as a nurse..as in never!'

But what makes me continue? .. aside from the fact that, yes, i cant turn my back and i have no choice - it's the people's stories that gives me that push to work harder each day. When those moments that before entering your patients room, you hear the husband singing 'through the years' to her wife who has undergone multiple surgeries and has been lethargic and bed ridden for more than 2 months or those moments when your patient has right sided weakness and is at the verge of dying yet still makes an effort to grab your hand and say thank you with utmost sincerity or moments when a grumpy patient suddenly cracks a joke on you because he found out that he can go home to his family, moments when you find out that the patient who put so much burden on you yesterday requested for you today because you took care of him so well, or moments when a pregnant mother on labor says something like this "paghinahaplos mo ko nawawala yung sakit...parang may angel sa tabi ko" - moments like that are what I live for everyday. Those are the times when you say to yourself that hey! this is it! this is the profession I want. you see. Nursing was never about how fast you finished your charting or how good you were with monitoring vital signs...it was never about perfecting medication exams or who gets to do more procedures. Nursing is way more than that. Nursing is seeing the unseen blessings - it's seeing humility in a family nearing bankruptcy, it's seeing hope in a patient holding on to dear life, it's seeing Genuine Faithin rosaries tied around patient's wrists and it's seeing and feeling LOVE when family members sing to an unconscious patient knowing that he/she wouldn't be able to hear them but they still sing anyway.  Maybe those are the reasons why nurses are being paid low because in Nursing you get to see life's true treasure and beauty that no one ever gets to experience.

Beyond our knowledge and intense urgency to attend to our patients' needs is that overwhelming sense of compassion.

Nursing is enduring but endearing - mom :)

Signal Fire

I do believe that Highschool, no matter how sheltered I was back then from what the real world really is, was the turning point of my life. It was the time when i've been so inspired by the institution i study in to offer everything I have for others.  Highschool was the time when i'd cry just seeing pictures of poverty in Africa, it was  when I realized how important the environment is, It was the time that I felt so bad not using scratch papers for my notes, It was the time when i'd go in rage seeing mountains without trees, It was the time when discussing Les Miserables in class moved me to tears, it was when the existence of STEP BOX made me realize the importance and true essense of education and it was the time when my mind was opened to the fact that one has to hone his/her skills to make other people happy and not just for self fulfillment. Maybe it wasn't the same impact for all students, maybe it's just me. But until now I find our batch promise which is to PIONEER RADICAL CHANGE, a very important part of my life.

There's just really one thing I'm scared of - to become irrelevant. I don't want to become stagnant and remain stupefied by what other people think of me or by people's judgments. I know that i have so much capability to change the world and i'll never let people pull me down. I won't allow other people to control my way of life. People will always oppose your actions and tell you that some things are just not possible. Yes, people will always criticize you and some people will not even care but that shouldn't stop you from doing things you want to do. It's always scary to take the road less traveled by but sometimes going through that path can be one of the best decisions ever made.

So ever since graduation, I've always thought of ways on how I can pioneer radical change. But school seems like a hindrance to my plans and my to-do lists are just as traumatizing as always. Then again, radical change doesn't necessarily mean something big. Radical change is something that starts from within. So then I looked for something that will challenge myself.



It was just recently or a few weeks back when my friend asked me to join her party and run as secretary for the student council. At first I just wanted to run to support my friend and not for anything else. But through the process and all the hard work we've put into the campaign, I have finally decided to run for the reason that I want to challenge myself - and by challenging I mean, making a change...not just for my own but most importantly for others, for the students, for my school.

Maybe this is going to be the start. And no, I have not been elected but win the position or not, I am definitely going to be proud of myself even just for the fact that i took that opportunity to run for SC. I am honestly thankful for my bestfriend for pushing me and believing that I have the capability to become part of SC. I am grateful for Sev, Kamal, John, Migs and Abi not only for being my ka=party :)) but also for being a family whom I spent three consecutive Sundays with going to different places for our photoshoots (naks!). I am so blessed to have a section who  understood my sensitivity and supported me all the way. It's okay to lose because spending time with my friends and getting tired all day with them was truly worth it and knowing that there are people who believe in me - in my potential to lead and to make a change - is good reason enough to make me feel happy and appreciated.

You see, God is so amazing that when you try new things and accept life trials and take on more responsibilities...He makes it a point that through the journey you gain important people in your life. Because after all, people are what matter most- not positions, not money, not popularity or awards. You have to work hard not to aim for selfish ambitions because then life would be so empty. You have to work hard for people - that's why everytime I study or do things I always use the love of my family and friends as my inspiration.

So yes, maybe this is the start for me...to take on more challenges and take hold of more responsibilities. Elected or not, I am ready to pioneer radical change this coming school year or maybe I should start tomorrow :)