Sticks and stones will break my what?

I am whiny and I complain when the need arises or when I'm feeling all so stubbornly out-righteous.  It's something I never really like doing but somehow my autonomic nervous system always finds a way to send viral signals telling me to "JUST GO AND SAY WHAT YOU WANT, YOU FREAKING WOMAN!"  That's a pathological reflex powered by a shot of adrenaline. Yeah, It's  probably one of those illnesses that forbids you to act like a normal rational person. But hey, we need an outburst sometimes. I can't stop talking when I know I'm right especially when the words being formed by my mouth and vibrated by my voicebox are so perfectly constructed that I, sometimes, even get surprised. It's like my eyes always give that feeling of "what do you have to say now, mister?" And that's a win-win situation.

There are days, though, when I know that I cannot pull myself together and cannot divulge any personal matters that's beyond my emotional capacity. My tears are very shallow and I guess that's already a given fact especially to those who really know me. I have the tendency to be emotionally unstable but just to a certain degree that is...still considered normal. I know well how to balance the three parts of my psyche so I know for sure I'm not ending up in an asylum.

I'm not wrecked. It's just that the events that have occurred are giving me a sense of so much responsibilities. You know...the pressure.

Food Snaps for the Weekend

Healthy Shabu Shabu and Buffet 101

All photos taken by Venice Furio

Thesis. Thesis. Thesis

If there's really one thing in the world I'd never want to do EVER again, it would be this. It wasn't about the stress. No, definitely not. Four years in college have taught me how to use swords and guns in preparation for battles like this. I (I know I have my groupmates with me but just for emphasis purposes I'll use 'I' instead of 'we' so as not to generalize the whole group because they might have different thoughts regarding thesis) fought it out right - although not perfectly- just in a sense that it rewarded me with a good grade. But grades were never my target (at this point in life) because two years ago, I told myself that If I am to devout my time and energy on something then it has to be driven by a significant purpose and not by mere numbers. If the energy I gave for this project was just ultimately based on aspiring to get Best Thesis  or a grade of 90 and above then I am no better than a blind cat endlessly chasing for something it would never figure out. So, frankly speaking, I was working on this for two semesters not knowing its purpose. I remember one time when me and my groupmates were talking and I mentioned that I'd rather have grand case presentations every semester wherein I could apply all my nursing skills and knowledge rather than working on one thesis that I would never seem to understand. I never liked the process of thesis making one bit because my heart was not in it. Throughout the process I must admit that I only worked as a machine because I needed to produce results and nothing more. 

There was one point though where my group's thesis adviser said that at the end of everything... no matter what the result of your data gathering is, no matter what grades the panel give you and no matter what other people would say about your study, it would just all boil down to one thing - Relevance of the study. At that point, I assured myself that there is a reason for doing this thing. Maybe, it wasn't just crystal clear at my side of the window. I hope that I get to see the purpose of this all at one point in time.  

Ready for submission.

All done :) Thank you Ma'am Magpatoc for everything you've taught us. 

Being a pig after the defense :D

Hi THESIS IT GIRLS! Thanks for trusting me as the leader of the group. Thank you for understanding my shortcomings and my selfish attitude sometimes. I love you mga Miss, haha! May Yabu date pa tayo :(

Bente

(how do you properly spell 20 in spanish? Nah, let's just say that's the way we do it here in Manila!)

20. I keep on repeating that number in my head for three days now and it wont't sink in. I think a part of me will forever be stuck in that stage where things will always be okay. I'm honestly scared and I want to refuse the fact that from now on... I need to act more mature and be prepared for what's about to come. I hate to admit that I'm going to enter that part of my life where decisions and actions become EVEN MORE crucial. Everything will be different and I know that I feel like im talking way too serious here but I just feel that I have the need to. I feel like things have to be in order because responsibilities will weigh heavier and I might not be able to accomplish what I'm supposed to do. Maybe, it's because I have an absolute fear of the future, the unknown, or the ones I can never anticipate. But despite all the burden in life, I'm still hopeful that events will turn out the way they ought to be.

Anyway, so...yes I just turned 20. it's been 20 years and i think Im doing quite okay with life - okay, maybe I'm more than okay and Im proud to say that I'm one blessed kid. I can't think of any reason to hate life as a whole. I've told people many times that there's nothing else I need. I have all the Love from my friends and family. I am a witness to my own blessings and I know that my BLESSINGS are more than what I truly deserve (not that I'm complaining :P). So, what more do I have to ask for? Life has been extremely good to me and despite all the trials and hurricanes, God has made a way to make things okay again. BLESSED. That's just it. There's nothing more that can describe my life. I mean, Ive been living a routine so there's nothing gigantically or evidently great about me but I'd like to believe that no natter how infinitesimal my everyday happiness is - its still something worth telling and worth living for. :)

20 seems like a very big number right now. :P

I never celebrate my birthday in a grand way. The last time I treated people out was on my 17th birthday pa, haha! My friends must be complaining big time right now! Sorry, guys! My parents are both out of the country: My mom's in Australia with my brother because it was his graduation last September 24th and my dad's working overseas. It's just me and my sister who are here in the Philippines. My dad kept on saying "wala kami dyan sa birthday mo" and I think he's either sad or regretting that I have no parents physically present with me on my "special day". But I told him that it doesn't make him any less of a father...that I'm blessed to have him...that he doesn't have to feel like there are shortcomings on his part.

I was really sad though because this was the first time ever that my mom was not with me on the day of my birthday. Well, actually, I never felt that it was my birthday because of thesis. It wasn't until the the night of september 25th when John and Arcee spent dinner with me in PepperLunch that I felt the birthday vibe. John told me that it's just a matter of thinking and choice (there goes John's wisdom). It's always good to have friends like them and I'm ultimately thankful for the friendship over the years. I just absolutely love these two.

Oh! and Arcee treated me in Yakimix. Oh, the joy of unlimited sushi and tempura. 

My sister and I celebrated my Birthday two days before and guess where? YABU: THE HOUSE OF KATSU! There's no Joke to the HYPE! My sister also got me a shirt from F21 and shades from Cotton On. Thank you, sister! I love you to the farthest place in the galaxy and back - please don't ever forget that no matter what!

Birthday wish: TOP THE NURSING BOARD EXAM or at least pass it :D

Army Navy MARINES.

NOLAN, THANK YOU FOR ALL THE GOOD TIMES.

Words cannot describe all the memories so let's just make the photos do the talking.

See you real soon, couz! and hopefully, next time, we all get to do this with kuya Yuya, ate Rosal and my brother!

COUSINSSSSS <3

The first two weeks

 I never really liked libraries but spending library time with these people make it seem like one of the funnest things to do in life, Literally and figuratively.

Eileen: What is glucose? Glucose is the ENERGY, BODY AND BRAIN! :))

Ki: Ei, parang mali!

 When 50 pieces of BonChon Chicken is not enough to compensate for the loss of neurons during the stressful IV therapy return demonstrations.

 Sleepovers.

 Banana loaf treat while waiting for Arcee

 Sometimes, Nursing is not about the medical surgical lectures and duties. Sometimes, or most of the time, it's about PIGGING OUT.

The day you realized that you can't do it without coffee.

 I really am grateful for having these wonderful and loka-loka people in my life. Though we don't usually hang  around in school as a group anymore, it's always amazing that everytime we go out it just feels like we share our eveyday lives together.

It's been US. literally. It's been us since 1st year college with J and Kas. We have established what the true meaning of friendship is while others keep on trying to find the right group where they can fit. Some people change their attitude to be in a group but us, we just naturally linked despite the obvious differences in our characters. And, maybe...It wasn't really about saying "I miss you" or "i'll be there for you" right up front. Maybe, It was about shouting "ANG GAGA MO!" or "BAHALA KA DYAN!" or "CHURA MO! BALIW!" or "ANG FEELER MO! BAT KITA MAMIMISS?" OR "TSONG, ANG TABA MO NA!" or whatever cursing words you have.

People find it verbally harsh but WE know that behind those words is the sincerity that we'll be right there, that we'll understand each other, that we'll love TO THE CORE and that we'll dare bring out our inner repapeeps and kanto ugali just to protect each other from anyone who tries to fight us (taking into consideration that we are on the right side :P). Elites (Btw, screw the person whoever named us that) or not Elites, I'm more than happy to be a part of this barkada. I love each and everyone of you to bits and pieces. 

The Beginning

I have an overwhelming  and overflowing passion for education and environmental conservation. It just saddens me and somehow makes me hypocritical that I still haven't had the time or chance to choose a tangible recipient of my purpose. I keep nagging people to make a change yet I, myself, haven't done something that is worth remembering. I haven't pioneered a project that would make a relevant difference in the lives of others.

Yesterday, I browsed over the blog of Anna Oposa of Save Philippine Seas and with just a couple of posts I was ultimately inspired. In one of her interviews, she stated that the worst environmental issue is not pollution or global warming but APATHY and when people do not care about the things that are around them that's when all the problem begins. She further added that her goal is to make people care and to create a generation of Filipinos who care about a country. 


So undeniably true. Apathy and indifference must stop RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT. It's shameful to not care at all despite the wrongs that have been constantly damaging our surroundings. I think it's time to act. I have been postponing things and setting aside the more important projects because of my lame excuses. I am busy, but with the right time management and self discipline, I know my plans will push through and contribute to the greater good. I need to make sure that by the end of this year, my scratch paper notebook project will happen. By the end of this year, I must be able to have a target population for my "Life in a Box" project. 


I believe that I have been blessed with so many talents and it's just right that I use these talents to influence others, ignite a fire, and create a ripple that will eventually reach the unreachable. I will be an instrument of Hope. Pride, prejudice, materialism and envy must end right now. Simplicity and humility must rise above all else. <3

“Hope has two beautiful daughters: their names are anger and courage. Anger that things are the way they are. Courage to make them the way they ought to be.” - St. Augustine

"Mister!", he said with a sawdusty sneeze,

"I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees.

I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues

I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues

And I'm asking you, sir, at the top of my lungs" 

He was very upset as he shouted and puffed 

"What's that THING you've made out of my Truffula tuft?"

I am the Lorax! I speak for the trees,

Which you seem to be chopping as fast as you please;

But I also speak for the brown Barbaloots,

Who frolicked and played in their Barbaloot suits,

Happily eating Truffula fruits.

Now, since you've chopped the trees to the ground

There's not enough Truffula fruit to go 'round!

And my poor Barbaloots are all feeling the crummies

Because they have gas, and no food, in their tummies.

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,

nothing is going to get better. It's not.